A parent’s worst nightmare is losing a child.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal BUT love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Your grief is your own. The time it takes to heal is your own. This grieving the loss of a child is a lifetime journey.
In the early years after the sudden death of my daughter I cried out for joy. I was a person who had a bubbly joyful personality prior to her death. I had a zest for life. I had a zeal for adventure, excitement was important to my enjoyment of life.
With my daughter’s death my zest for life – my sense of adventure – excitement all left for parts unknown. I fought hard to hand on to life itself. I had lost my purpose and even my desire to continue. WHY was the question always paramount on my heart and mind. There had to be a reason for this life to continue. I had a supportive husband, two sons, a successful business, friends and family all who cared about me. I had a lovely home in the country, a beautiful yard to take care of, money in the bank, nice clothes, on and on it went. BUT – I had no peace and I had no joy.
I have had people say ”You were strong to survive”. I can look back now and say ”At the time I had no idea I was strong”. Other people ask ”How did you survive”. For many years honestly I quested to find a reason to go on. I cried out for the joy to return. I searched many avenues to find ”my” reason to go on. For a while my choices didn’t lead me to peace and joy but they led me to an awakening as to what gave me peace and joy. I found peace in knowledge of life beyond what we ”see” with the ”natural” eye. I found peace in my heart with the study of ”life after death”. Finally the lasting joy and peace came to me through the belief that God’s words are true and that he had Angels surrounding me, guiding me, holding me up.
So in a nutshell, study, research, prayer, believing, educating in the halls of learning and on my own, writing, journaling, self care all brought me to peace and joy. God’s love made me secure and complete. Trusting His love for me – trusting His words are true and he cannot lie and he never changes. Trusting he held me with his mighty right hand and knowing He had given his Son so I could know peace and joy formed the catalyst that brought my back to a new me. A person refilled, renewed and restored to zest, excitement and adventure.
Did it take time – you bet it did. Healing comes slowly and over time. Healing depends on your choices and truly when grieving all the help offered helps.
In consistency lies the power……..you must focus on growth – on shifting the mind to a new way of thinking and being in this world. You are here to make a difference. You choose that difference. Be an example to what is possible despite the loss of a child. Was it easy ?? NO – nothing worth having is ever easy ! BUT with God ALL things are possible.
Peace can be found in the stillness of nature.