Gratitude is probably the easiest place to start and one of the most positive places to start when you’re grieving. Getting your thoughts out of the dark pit of despair serves you so well.
So let’s begin;
1) Look at what is GOOD in your life – a home, good health, family, supportive friends.
…. Write down your gratitudes til you’ve exhausted . Write ALL you can possibly think about – take as long as you want and keep writing til you’ve got it all out.
WRITING with a pen is much better for your healing than typing it on your device.
There is a connection between your heart, head and hand……Believe it – you’ll be amazed at what comes up and how good you feel.
2) Recognize your own accomplishments. When you’re grieving it is hard to have the energy to even put one foot in front of the other let alone take on anything else. You may feel guilty about what you’re not able to do……..I couldn’t even make the bed by myself…….I didn’t have the strength and indeed I felt guilty – and it was hard to ask my husband to help me BUT I did – I needed help.
NOW – at the END of each week sit down and write down ALL those things you did accomplish, ie. walk the dog, laundry, floors, cooked, paid the bills, went to work, fed the cat, fed the family, shopped for groceries, or whatever….Shopping is therapeutic but be careful not to over spend because shopping does give you those happy endorphins. Recognize what you HAVE done and FORGET what you haven’t. CONGRATULATE yourself on what you did do…………BE SURE on that list to include ANYTHING you did for yourself – hair – nails – exercise – (pedicure – manicure – massage) are not a luxury they are NECESSARY for your survival.
3) THOUGHTS……my favourite subject….Are the thoughts you’re thinking (and you think 60,000 thoughts a day) serving you – are they helping you or holding you back….You CAN control your thoughts – I will teach you the MODELin class……
4) Practice Affirming yourself……..Be GENTLE with yourself – treat yourself like you would a friend you love dearly. …….Say ‘’I deserve all the time and all the resources available to me to heal’’.
“I am loved” ‘’I am not alone” “I am in charge of my life’’ “ I am a child of God’s ‘’ Say ONLY good things to yourself and feel the warmth flow through you.
5) Nothing can be done about the past…..I use the story of a boat – if you’re on the water in this nice boat and you’re driving and you keeping looking at the wake behind you’’ – What do you think will happen……..You might be OK for awhile but eventually you’ll either run into someone – hurting yourself and them – run up on the bank , crash and burn – run into rocks – You get the picture. That will happen to you if you don’t look ahead…….Nothing can change what’s happened – Sorry but it CAN and WILL make you a new and stronger person if you persevere – one small step at a time.
6) Ask yourself – Today what do I need to take care of myself? Sit quietly and listen to your inner voice..The answer will come. Four quadrants in your body need healing – emotional – spiritual – physical and mental………You have to come FIRST and your wellness has to be your PRIORITY.
BALANCE in ALL things. Giving – Receiving – Letting go – taking responsibility – solving problems – letting the unsolved ones just sit, unrealistic expectations. REMEMBER you are important. You are valuable and you deserve to survive this loss stronger and more able to help others.