Never is time more noticeably on fast forward then when you’re raising children. My Mom used to say ”When you can say 20 years ago you know you’re getting older”. When you’re in the middle of raising children you’re always on ”fast forward” wondering and hoping when all this chaos and rush to fit everything in will pass !!
BAM out of the blue something not expected or anticipated in your wildest nightmares comes to pass. Your child is dead. Unimaginable and then ”TIME” stands still and you’re grasping at straws to survive. Time drags as you’re hanging on to the promise of ”heaven” BUT ”heaven” is an eternity away when facing life day to day. When my Tiffany died at 17 and my Mom tried to stem my tears with the promise of heaven, I cried out in anguish; ”But it’s taking too long” !! Time had stopped but life kept on keeping on.
What was the FIRST step to my survival many people have asked me over the years……..Honestly I have to tell you it took me years before I turned to God for the answers. I started with the study of Near Death experiences which gave me a glimpse into the realm of heaven that I had no understanding of . My quest was to make sense out of a senseless situation.
For everyone the return to finding life after loss is different. I always recommend a Journal. There is so much stored up inside that needs to be released and the only way to release it all is to write it out – get it out. A normal feeling for me was not wanting to share or burden or spill my guts to a human. I was hurting too much and was afraid once I opened up I’d never be able to put myself back together again. Writing it all out was safe and it was healing and I was surprised at times by what was lurking below the surface that I wasn’t consciously aware of ! Get it out !!
Some people have asked me over the years; ”What do you wish someone had told you early in your loss?” My answer is always the same ; ”I wish I had someone like who I am now – with personal experience of loss who could relate to my pain and give me encouragement and support to lift me out of the darkness.” I did it basically on my own until I realized the greatest help in the Universe was just waiting for me to look up, ask for direction, receive direction, and take action. Start small – don’t push – but take action as time waits for no man and when it’s your turn to be heaven bound you want to be ready !! Amen to that !!